Can Good Manners Change Your Life?
What are the real benefits of practicing good manners, beyond simply pleasing your parents? Join us on "I Wonder" as we unpack the powerful role that manners play in shaping respectful interactions and creating a positive atmosphere. We journey through time, exploring how manners evolved from ancient societies, highlighting their enduring role in preventing misunderstandings. We event talk about how polite behavior enhances social bonding and happiness by triggering feel-good chemicals.
Episode Transcript
Hey there, curious minds, welcome to, I Wonder, the show where we explore the questions you've been wondering about. Today's question comes from a mom who wrote in and asked why is it that I have to constantly tell my kids that it's important to have good manners? Wow, such a relatable question. If you're a kid listening right now, you might have heard adults say things like say please and thank you, don't interrupt or be polite. But have you ever wondered why manners are such a big deal? Is it just your parents being annoying, or is there more to it?
Let's dive into the world of manners to see why they matter, why grown-ups keep reminding us about them and where some of these customs even came from. Let's start with the basics. Manners are a way of showing respect and consideration for other people. When we say please and thank you or hold the door open for someone, we're showing kindness and thinking about how our actions affect others. Good manners are like the rules of respect that help everyone get along better. They make conversations smoother, show that we appreciate each other and create a more positive atmosphere wherever we are at home, at school or out in the community. Having good manners doesn't mean you have to act like a grown-up or do things that feel unnatural. Instead, it's about being aware of how your actions make other people feel and finding ways to make those feelings positive.
But where did they come from? Manners go back thousands of years. Long ago in ancient societies, manners started as ways to show respect for others and keep the peace. For example, in medieval times, knights and other members of society followed strict codes of behavior, including table manners, as a way to show loyalty and respect to their rulers and peers. Manners were also important in places like ancient China, where Confucius taught rules of courtesy and respect as essential parts of building a good society. Over time, people started to realize that having polite behavior could help avoid misunderstandings and make daily interactions smoother. By the 1700s and 1800s, when many of the manners we know today were being developed, people believed that good manners were a sign of being civilized and educated. That's why certain behaviors like saying please and thank you or not talking with your mouth full, become widespread. Even though some of these customs might seem old-fashioned, they're still useful because they help people feel comfortable and respected.
Now why do grownups keep reminding kids to use good manners? It's not just because they want you to follow rules. When parents, teachers and other adults encourage good manners, they're helping kids build important skills. Good manners are like practice for life, helping kids learn how to communicate, get along with others and handle different situations with confidence. Grown-ups know that using good manners can even open doors to opportunities. Imagine going for an interview or meeting new friends. Having good manners shows that you're respectful, thoughtful and a good communicator. People are more likely to remember you in a positive way if you show respect and kindness. So when parents remind their kids to use good manners, they're helping them build skills that can benefit them in school, friendships and future opportunities.
One of the most common places where we hear about manners is at the dinner table. Good table manners might include simple things like chewing with your mouth closed, waiting for everyone to sit before eating or saying please pass instead of reaching across someone. But why do we have these rules in the first place? Table manners are important because they show respect to the people you're sharing a meal with. Imagine sitting down for a meal where everyone was grabbing food without asking, talking with their mouths full or reaching across the table. It would be chaos. Table manners create a peaceful, respectful environment so that everyone can enjoy their meal together. They also show appreciation to the person who prepared the food and set the table. Good manners can even help you make a good impression on others, for example, if you're eating at a friend's house or at a fancy restaurant. Using polite table manners shows that you respect the people around you. It's a way of saying I appreciate being here and I want everyone to have a great experience. Some examples of good table manners include chewing with your mouth closed, saying please and thank you and asking for food to be passed, waiting until everyone is seated before starting to eat, and putting your napkin in your lap and using it if you need to wipe your mouth. These little behaviors can make mealtime more enjoyable for everyone.
One of the coolest things about manners is that they don't just make us feel good. They also have a positive effect on the people around us. When you're polite, you're showing others that you care about their feelings and comfort. Imagine someone helping you carry something heavy and you forget to say thank you. Without even realizing it, you might make them feel unappreciated, but with a simple thank you, you acknowledge their effort and they're more likely to help you again in the future. In a way, good manners are like tiny acts of kindness. Each time you say please, thank you or excuse me, you're sending a small message that says I respect you. It might seem like a small thing, but over time, these little acts of kindness build trust and make it easier to get along with others. Plus, good manners often lead to kindness coming back to you. When people see you're being polite, they're more likely to be kind and polite in return.
Believe it or not, good manners actually affect our brains. When you say or hear phrases like please and thank you, your brain releases chemicals that make you feel happy. This is part of something called social bonding, which is our brains way of encouraging us to connect positively with others. When you're polite, your brain releases oxytocin, a chemical that helps us feel closer to others and strengthens our connections. When people feel appreciated and respected, they're more likely to respond with kindness, which can create a positive loop. Good manners can actually boost happiness levels for everyone involved, making it easier to get along and cooperate. So when your mom asks you to use good manners, she's not just asking you to follow a rule. She's actually helping you form bonds that can make you feel happier and more connected to others.
Did you know that manners can vary from one culture to another? What's considered polite in one country might be seen as unusual somewhere else? For example, in Japan, slurping noodles is a way of showing appreciation for a meal, while in many Western countries, making noises while eating is seen as rude. In some cultures it's polite to shake hands, while in others, a respectful bow or nod is the norm. Understanding different manners around the world can help us appreciate and respect people from different backgrounds. It also reminds us that good manners are really about finding ways to show respect, no matter where we are. So when parents encourage their kids to use good manners, they're also teaching them to be adaptable and respectful in different situations, which can be valuable when meeting new people or traveling.
If you've ever wondered why manners don't always come naturally, it's because they take practice, just like learning to play an instrument or ride a bike. Good manners are a skill that you improve the more you use them. When grown-ups remind us to say please or thank you, they're helping you develop these habits so that they eventually feel easy and natural. Think of manners as a way of training your brain to think about others. At first it might feel like a lot to remember, but over time using good manners becomes second nature. You might even start noticing that people are more helpful, friendly or willing to cooperate when you use polite words and actions.
So, to answer the question, manners are important because they help us build positive relationships, show respect and create an environment where people feel valued. When grown-ups encourage kids to use good manners, they're helping them learn skills that will make life a little smoother, a little kinder and a lot more connected. Manners might take some practice, but they're worth it because they make the world a friendlier place for everyone. Thanks again to this mom for such a thoughtful question.
And remember if you have a question you're curious about, submit it on our website at iwonderpodcastcom, and we might just feature it in our next episode of I Wonder. Until next time, stay curious and keep wondering.